This is the transcript of The Masked Elf's report, for those of you who like to cheat. You can still download the actual audio thing here.
Giant Sandwiches Invade Furcadia
By The Masked Elf
Recently, giant sandwiches, infested by ants the size of kudzu, have been seen invading Furcadia! These ants ride the sandwiches into battle against the poor unsuspecting furres. "O-M-G, O-M-G, O-M-G" exclaimed a frightened Sky's Sea as he was mercilessly drug onto a giant sandwich by the ants.
When asked about the dilemma, Cironir began to run around screaming "ANTS IN MY PANTS!" It seemed all hope was lost. But then, furres began talking. They spoke of a savior... a giant foot that would come and crush the puny ants!
Still, questions remain. Where did these ants come from? What are they doing with those giant cans of Furre-Cola?! Why do I have to resort to this sort of work to make myself feel better?